On The Water Front

"Oh where oh where has my well water gone?
Oh where oh where can it be?
The drillers were due this week
but no hide nor hair have I seen..."

After 8 weeks of no water, yours truly is now definitely over the edge.  For some insane reason, I thought water was included in the rent.  Silly me.  I guess I should be happy that the landlord put a "tank" in the driveway to provide us with water.  The water has been there unchanged for at least 2 weeks so I can assure you I won't be using that water to brush my teeth. Now do I not only have to run to the "tank" to get water to flush the Loo and water the house plants, I have to buy water to drink, cook and eat.  I boil the "tank" water to wash my dishes but I am tired of living on "Little House on the Prairie".  At this point, it is more like "Gilligan's Isle"...  "Lovey" (aka me/Mrs. Thurston Howel the III) is on the war path.  It is supposed to rain tonight, so I've got some pots and pans (and coconuts) out on the deck to collect water...

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill went after the landlord..."

You Don't Miss Your Water...

...until the well goes dry.  Two weeks without water has sent yours truly over the edge.  Forget cooking squash or cleaning, I'm just timing my trips to the loo.  Cross your legs as there isn't enough water in the well.  The good news is that I do have water now...  I'm hooked up via a hose to the place across the street.  Can we say "Beverly Hillbillies"?

"Come and listen to a story about a woman named Deb
Poor unemployed Vermonter, barely kept her family fed
Then one day she ran out of water,
She called up her landlord and he did what he 'aughta'..."

Now let's just hope that hose holds up!

Squash Bribery

It has reached the point of Squash Bribery in Vermont.  My best friend, Mr. Greg, gave me a jingle this past Friday and tried to bribe me into taking more of his 11+ pound squash.  First, he pulled the New England guilt of "we can't let this go to waste" and then went on to the Squash Bribery.  He offered to throw in some tomatoes and basil.  Then he went on to include a pint of fresh-picked blackberries.  I resisted.  I caved when he threw in the grilled lobster stuffed with chorizo.

Being a veteran player of "Pass the Squash" for 18 years, I managed to salvage the situation.  I just played it forward to friends from Massachusetts and New York - minus the blackberries and lobster.

Blitzkreig Squash

"Blitzkrieg Squash"


Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go

They're forming in a squash line
They're going through a vine wind
The buds are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Squash

Kudos to The Ramones...

Bird TV

After replacing the suet battery pack, we have reception to Bird TV and there are no commercials.

SOS (Sick of Squash)
Fall is in the air, and for those of us in Putney it is time to lock the doors to our houses and cars against the dreaded donated squash. True New Englanders that we are, we just cannot let anything go to waste and hence, we play "Pass the Squash" (To the Left-hand Side). Be honest, how many of you have fallen victim to the 11-pound zucchini? We politely say "thank you" and cannot wait for the next person to walk through the door as they will be the new victim of "Pass the Squash". How much squash can one person eat? Gastrinomically speaking, there is only one thing to salvage squash - lots of cheese, onions, pepper, breadcrumbs and sometimes a daub of maple syrup. Even the name squash tells you what to do with it. I think Vermont should have a moratorium on squash plants - one per family. There will be plenty to go around...

Marauding Blue Jays

Blue Jays are the Donald Trump of the bird world.